


I Love You, Don't You Mind?

by ro_hd



Category: The Ultimate Sidemen
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Self Confidence Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-06
Updated: 2016-10-06
Packaged: 2018-08-19 23:05:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8227852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ro_hd/pseuds/ro_hd
Summary: Harry and Simon argue and Harry spirals deep. Simon is there to pull him out.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Who_let_the_gays_out](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Who_let_the_gays_out/gifts).



> A PIECE FOR ONE OF MY FAVS, Will_suck_dick_for_fanfic, who is a very talented writer and deserves the world! x
> 
>  
> 
> (Cal-Calfreezy, Callum-Callux)  
> Title from The 1975's Me

Why did this keep happening?

Harry couldn’t help but think as Simon, once again, slammed the door on the way out. Silence echoed through the flat and Harry felt himself slump against the wall, bringing his legs halfway up to his chest and resting his arms on his knees, burying his face in them. Letting out a shaky breath, he found the will to stand up and hobble to the sofa, collapsing wearily on it. The clock told Harry it was 10pm.

Thank god the Cals were out this evening, Harry didn’t think he could take their worried glances and questioning looks as he and Simon argued once again. The apartment was empty and quiet. Harry didn't know whether he liked it or not. Regardless of that, it gave him room to think without being distracted.

He and Simon had been tense for about a week now. It all started when Simon had been stressed with videos and editing and had gotten annoyed at Harry when he asked whether he wanted to take a break. Simon was irritated and had tersely replied. It escalated to shouting and caused Josh to come in and yell at them to stop, as he and the others were filming.

-

_“You okay? You wanna take a break?” Harry asked, watching his boyfriend with worried eyes as the blonde slaved away at his desk._

_“No, I’m too busy. Not that you would know what that’s like.” Simon muttered irritably. Harry’s eyes widened and he couldn’t help but feel a little hurt._

_“What? All I asked was whether you wanted to take a break from wasting away at that computer. Why would you say that?” Harry mumbled, slouching down on Simon’s bed. Simon knew his upload schedule was a sore subject. He watched the back of Simon’s head as it dropped down, the blonde sighing loudly. Simon turned to look at him, face blank._

_“Just drop it, okay? I have to get this done.” Simon grumbled, looking back at his computer screen, ignoring Harry._

_“I was just worried.You’re stressing yourself out and I don’t like to see you like that.” Harry spoke, feeling upset that Simon wasn’t bothered about his own wellbeing._

_“I said, drop it!” Simon half-yelled at him, startling him slightly. Simon barely ever raised his voice in anger, so Harry felt a bit intimidated._

_“No, you need to look after yourself! Being so stressed out all the time could make you sick,” Harry shouted back, making Simon groan loudly, annoyed._

_“I don’t need to be looked after and coddled. I’m older than you, I can look after myself.” Simon said tersely, trying to end the conversation._

_“I want you to be well, to be healthy! What’s so wrong about that?” Harry demanded loudly, sitting up and crossing his arms tightly across his chest._

_“The fact that you kept getting at me! Chill out!” Simon shouted at him, saving his editing and spinning round in his chair to face Harry, frowning, barely concealing anger._

_“Well, I apologise for giving a shit!” Harry yelled, finally standing up. He was about to continue, when the door suddenly opened, revealing an annoyed Josh. The oldest Sideman huffed, before crossing his arms._

_“Do you mind? Some of us are trying to film and we can’t do that with you two screaming your bloody heads off!” Josh reprimanded them. They both had the decency to look sheepish._

_“Sorry, Josh,” Harry mumbled._

_“Yeah, sorry,” Simon muttered. Josh nodded before leaving; shutting the door behind him with a resounding slam. The couple looked at each other for a moment. They apologised to each other, embarrassed that their close friends heard their argument._

-

However, the calm didn’t last long, as every other day, the two would be back at it, arguing and snapping at each other. The rest of their friends had caught on and realised that it was best to just stay clear of the pair when they began to bicker.

It was always over petty things too, like; why didn’t one of them wash up their bowls, or, why did one of them lose the remote, or, why didn’t one of them do this or that. It was pathetic, but there was some kind of tension that neither of them knew about or wanted to admit.

It had been taking a strain on both their YouTube channels, too. Simon’s upload schedule went out of whack for a couple days once and Harry’s uploads were even more scarce. Even though Harry was trying his best to film and edit as Simon’s comment really got to him a bit.

“No, I’m too busy. Not that you would know what that’s like.”

So, as Harry found himself slumped on the sofa of his flat, feeling sorry for himself, he couldn’t help but realise that all their arguing had been unnecessary. They’d bickered for no good reason, just to annoy each other.

However, Harry’s mind couldn’t help but wonder, his brain crawling through ideas and theories about why Simon had been so harsh whilst they argued. Did he not like Harry anymore? Did he want to break up with him? Sure, 5 months was a pretty short amount of time in some people’s eyes, but to Harry, it felt too short. He didn’t want it to end so soon. Maybe Simon hated him, perhaps he was too pushy one day and Simon just…snapped…and realised that Harry wasn’t worth his time.

As Harry’s thoughts darkened and darkened by the minutes, he could feel a tightening in his chest, similar to when he first realised he loved Simon, even though he’d never explicitly told him so. But this time, it hurt, his chest felt constricted, like all the horrid emotions surrounding him were a snake, and Simon’s words caused it to tighten and tighten with every breath.

He felt his breathing hitch and an unfamiliar burning behind his eyes. Harry felt warm tears begin to trickle down his cheeks; he scrubbed stubbornly at them with his hoody sleeve. As his breath stuttered out shakily, Harry felt everything hurt. Did he do something wrong? He’d do anything to undo it. Harry would completely change himself to be what Simon wanted, and he wouldn’t hesitate for a second if given the chance to.

Harry sat there, huddled on the sofa in the cold flat at almost 11pm, shaking and shivering and sobbing. He didn’t know how long he sat there for, arms around his knees; legs pulled up to his chest; hoody drew tightly around him. But, when the front door opened once more, quiet footsteps ringing through Harry’s ears like a gunshot, he hastily rubbed at his tear-streaked face. The soft footfalls stark in contrast to that of his muffled sniffles.

Harry turned to look who’d entered and blanched when he saw his boyfriend, toeing off his shoes by the door, being strangely careful and meticulous, making almost no noise. Perhaps Simon hoped he was asleep so that he could so whatever he wanted. That was probably why he was trying so hard to be quiet, as to not wake him up if he was in bed.

Simon looked surprised when he noticed Harry cuddled on the sofa, face red and splotchy; head turned towards him; his pale blue irises stark against his red-rimmed eyes. He said nothing for a moment, before gently placing his bag and jacket on the floor before speaking.

“Harry?” it was softly spoken, a whisper on a breath of air. Harry watched, silent, as Simon stumbled over and sat beside him, a good foot away; unsure if he was allowed to touch Harry. “Are you okay?” he asked quietly, even though no one else was inside the flat.

“’Mm fine,” Harry mumbled, resting his chin on his drawn knees.

Harry watched once more as Simon sighed, head dropping down and heels of his hands digging into his eyes. Harry wanted to reach out to stop him, but kept his hands to himself; it wasn’t his place. Simon breathed out harshly before turning to Harry.

“I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry this happened and I’m sorry we argued.” Simon said, voice croaky. Harry blinked before his eyes looked down to his feet.

“I’m sorry too,” he mumbled, almost inaudible. Pale eyes flicked up to meet Simon’s sapphire gaze. Simon’s eyes softened and he smiled gently. “I’ll be off now,” Harry then whispered, beginning to get up off the sofa. Simon grabbed his hand, his eyes wide.

“Where are you going?” he asked quickly, confused. Harry sighed.

“This is the part where you say ‘I’m sorry we argued but I think it’s time we had some time apart’ or 'this isn’t working’ or some crap like that,” Harry whispered, tone flat but brittle. He was going to break any second now.

Simon looked extremely confused before his ocean eyes widened and he got up too, letting go of Harry’s hands, placing both palms on either side of Harry’s face. He cradled the shorter boy with his hands gently before bringing him close, arms around him. One hand pulled Harry tightly to him, gripping his shoulder, and the other crept round to embed itself in the back of Harry’s head. Simon’s fingers threaded through the hair there, pressing a kiss to the crown of Harry’s head.

“No no no, I could never say that,” Simon whispered, feeling Harry’s head fall against his collar.

“I don’t understand. Aren’t you breaking up with me?” Harry asked softly, hands reaching to wrap themselves around Simon’s middle.

“Of course not,” Simon mumbled, letting Harry go to look into his shadowed eyes. “I promise you, I am not going to break up with you,” Simon said earnestly.

"But- but I thought-" Harry stumbled, confused and anxious, but overall, hopeful. Simon rubbed his shoulders gently, thumbs digging into the tense bones. Simon shushed him, pulling him back for a hug. Harry lifted his arms and they wrapped around Simon's neck, clutching on for dear life.

“Please don’t leave me,” Harry whispered desperately, face pressing into Simon’s collar.

“I won’t,” Simon said, voice hushed. he felt Harry exhale.

“Promise?” Harry mumbled, sounding akin to a child.

“Promise,” Simon spoke softly, hand coming up and fingers weaving through Harry’s hair.

They stayed like that for a while, embracing, listening to each other’s soft breaths. Eventually, they parted, Simon casting a loving look down, making Harry smile sheepishly. Simon took hold of Harry's chin with a forefinger and thumb, pressing a gentle kiss to the other’s mouth. They both smiled into the kiss, feeling at ease with each other and communicating their feelings without needing to speak.

Simon took Harry’s hand, guiding him gently to his room. Harry, washed out and spent, flopped onto his bed. Simon chuckled quietly, stripping down to his boxers and tossing his clothes in a pile. He coerced Harry into unchanging and the pair climbed into Harry’s bed. Simon felt Harry’s body latch onto his own, toned arms and legs wrapping around him and encasing him like a cocoon. Large hands buried themselves in Harry’s golden hair. Harry snuggled his head into Simon’s toned chest, smiling. Harry outright grinned when Simon kissed the top of his head.

They fell asleep like that, twisted together like rope, just feeling each other’s heartbeats and hearing each other’s breathing. There was no other place they would rather be, as cliche as it was.

The next morning, Simon awoke to faint TV noise and quiet snoring. A glance at Harry’s alarm clock told him it was nearly midday and a glance down t showed Harry, still asleep. Kissing Harry’s hair lightly, Simon managed to edge out of Harry’s grasp without waking the younger. Harry needed the sleep. He pulled on his sweats and nabbed a tee from Harry’s closet.

The flat wasn’t empty anymore. As Simon wandered into the lounge, he saw the two Cals perched on the sofa. The two had apparently come home after wherever they were yesterday evening. Freezy was scrolling mindlessly through the TV, while Callum was sat eating, phone in hand. Simon padded over to the kitchen, rummaging through the cupboards. The Cals turned at Simon’s footfalls and the successive banging of cupboard doors.

“Simon?” Cal piped up, sounding surprised. Had they not noticed he was here? His shoes, bag and jacket were by the door. Simon stood from his crouch, turning to stare.

“Hey,” Simon spoke. The three stared at each other. “When did you two get back?” Simon filled the silence, which was strange for the three good friends.

“Early this morning,” Callum said simply, chuckling.

“Did you guys know I was here?” Simon had to ask.

“Of course we did; your shit is by the door,” Cal said, confused.

“Plus, you know, we actually did go out so you and Harry could...” Callum added. Simon was surprised they were so observant and knew that Simon would be coming over. He was grateful.

“Oh. Cheers, guys,” he smiled. The Cals shared a look.

“Does that mean you two are, like, okay now?” Cal asked hopefully.

“Yeah,we’re good,” Simon, pouring himself a bowl of cereal, said with a grin. The pair looked happy for them. Simon ate,feeling calm and relaxed in the company of his friends. Simon was washing up his bowl when he felt two arms wrap sleepily round his middle. Simon smiled and turned in the embrace, looking down at Harry and feeling a fluttery feeling in his stomach.

“Good afternoon,” Simon said pointedly, the time being roughly 12:20pm.

“Hey,” Harry mumbled, letting go to press a kiss to Simon’s jaw. Simon breathed out and Harry chuckled.

“PDA to a minimum please, there are children watching,” Cal piped up from his spot on the couch. The couple laughed happily, amused.

The two vacated back to Harry’s room, falling onto the bed in sync. The pair laid next to each other, legs dangling off the side of the bed, hands clasped together. The faint TV sound and the Cals chatting; the faint breathing and thundering heartbeats; the overwhelming feeling of being loved and loving the other.

“Si?” Harry spoke into the comfortable silence.

“Yeah?” Simon replied, head turning to look at Harry, eyes full of endearment.

“I love you,” Harry whispered, voice almost inaudible.

“I love you too,” Simon said with a smile.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave kudos and comments! (should i do a part two?) x


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